It might not have been a submarine, but it did feel at times
like we all lived right on top of each other.
Like with most families, being in constant close proximity led to a
familiarity that is certainly not duplicated in English or algebra class. When you can tell who has been in your office
by the stuff they leave behind (origami cranes = Hannah Lin) or, even worse, by
the smell they leave behind (stinky Asian Tupperware = Gloria Kwak), you are
probably pretty familiar with each other.
In the days before the band room was expanded, it was a certainty that
you would be in someone’s space no matter where you were. Because of this, I saw you at your best and
at your worst and occasionally…. I saw you, to some degree, naked.
Yep, I have
way too many of these stories and thought I would share a couple of them since
it is a bit harder to fire me now that I have retired. I could change the names to protect those
involved but what is the fun in that?
Having read this far, there are some of you who just got a knot in your
stomach in anticipation. So…..
Please
understand that it is very hard to communicate sarcasm through a closed
door. I say that to give this first
young lady some semblance of an excuse for what happened. I, of course, was totally innocent. It would seem that Allison Acker asked to use
my office to try on a new drum major uniform.
I said sure and she went in to change.
Also, in her defense, the door would not lock since that little closet I
used for an office was never intended to be an office. I
was to be the door guard.
Almost immediately after she went
in (or so it seemed to me), I remembered something I needed off my desk. I knocked on the door and said, “Can I come
in?” Allison replied, “Sure, come right
on in!” What she meant was, “You idiot,
I’m changing clothes and you are not funny at all.” I failed to pick up on the sarcasm and
marched right on in to catch her half dressed (or half undressed). Allison was much less panicked than me and
said in a calm, collected voice, “You can leave now.” This sticks out mostly
because she was so calm and I was so flustered.
I’ll bet that calmness has translated into the makings of a great mom.
Not only is
this next one not my fault, I never even saw anyone naked. I did however keep everyone (police included)
from seeing some of my kids in a less than dressed condition. We were having our annual Rock-a-thon in the
P.E. gym. That year, we were having it
in January. It started to snow outside,
but because of the “5 minutes off an hour” rule and also because I did not want
wet, cold kids in rocking chairs for the rest of the night, I told them they
could not go out in the snow. As I
understand it, the dare these girls came up with was born out of frustration because
I would not let anyone go outside.
What they decided to do was to
strip to their underwear, run out the band room door closest to the flagpole,
run around the flagpole, come back in, dress, and return to the rock-a-thon
with the rest of us none the wiser. The
leader of this group of 3 was Renee Riley assisted by Katie Sauer and one other
(a Lewis maybe?). After the 5 minute
break was finished, I counted heads and discovered the 3 of them missing. Kevin was asleep as usual so I went looking
for them. When I went into the band
room, I saw 3 piles of clothes on the floor.
While pondering this, someone banged on the outside door and said
(screamed), “Mr. Smith, Mr. Smith, Help!”
When I got to the door, all I could see was Renee Reyle’s face. The door had evidently closed and locked when
they went out, stranding them semi-naked at 28 degrees. She wanted me to unlock the door but then to
leave the room so they could come back in.
I wanted an explanation but didn’t feel that while they were freezing
was the best time to get one. When they
finally did get back to their rocking chairs and explained the plan to me,
their biggest concern was not calling mom or dad. Quite frankly, I didn’t want to call parents
because it is hard to make the case that you are adequately taking care of
their kids when the end result could have been frostbite and a ticket for
indecent exposure. I learned enough from
this episode to post a parent at the exit doors for the next 18 or so years
(Lonzi Pink’s mom for example). Later,
Renee would explain all of this as having really been my fault for not letting
them go out and play in the snow. The one
advantage to a real submarine is that you can’t sneak out of it.
No comments:
Post a Comment