BAD BUS, BAD BUS…… WHATCHA GONNA DO !

            A hallmark of any Spring band trip is how many times the bus breaks down.  It seemed to happen on almost every trip.  Now, I’m not saying that sitting on the side of the road or standing in a truck stop parking lot is all bad.  There were many instances of 50 on 50 Red Rover that are quite memorable (William Ingram).  I always looked on breaking down as a bonding experience – kind of a “Trial by Fire” sort of thing.  Sometimes you could tell by the driver’s body language how bad the situation was.  Usually, however, these experiences began with a loud noise from the back of the bus (engine) followed shortly by all the drivers gathered around an open engine compartment looking rather severe.  I came to realize that driving a bus does not mean you have any idea how to fix a bus or even how to diagnose what is wrong.  Any freshman flute player could have served the same purpose as the drivers at that moment.  Other things to note about breaking down include:

1.              If they give an estimate for how long it will take to get moving, double it.

2.              It is never okay to continue without air conditioning.  That “soup” sloshing around in the little room in the back gets ripe quickly.

3.              Drivers never want to call the company for help but want to stare at the bus hoping it will repair itself.  Make them call.

4.              Do not let kids call home with a new estimated arrival time until you have given the bus a chance to break down again.

            The gold standard in breaking down on a trip would have to be our first ever excursion to San Antonio.  Getting to San Antonio was no problem.  We were a smaller band back then (3 buses).  On Sunday morning, we loaded up to leave at 7:00 a.m. but did not get to leave because a bus broke down.  We were expecting it to be very hot in South Texas and air conditioning was not optional so we sat in the parking lot for well over an hour waiting on a new bus.  After unloading and reloading, we finally got on the road.  We made it Austin where we stopped for lunch.  When we loaded up after lunch, one of the buses had no air pressure and would not lift up off the ground.  After the required amount of staring from drivers, another new bus was sent from San Antonio, which took almost 3 hours of down time before we got moving again.  The plan was to drive as far as possible before pulling off for supper.  The lead bus (mine) had other plans and started making engine noise just as we entered Dallas. 

I failed to mention earlier that we were suffering under an additional handicap in that none of the drivers spoke English.  Because of this, it took longer than it should have to come up with a plan for what to do.  We eventually ended up at the Coach USA bus lot in Dallas – a grand name for a big dusty parking lot with a one-room shack in the middle.  The lot was empty except for a gleaming and obviously new bus parked right next to the “shack”.  After looking at my bus, the lot manager/mechanic said it was shot.  When I asked to load kids on the new bus, he said we could not have it as it was promised to a group the next morning.  His exact words were, “You aren’t getting THAT bus under any circumstance!”  At that moment, I was looking for any leverage I could find. 

JoAnna Tacker, band treasurer extraordinaire, was also an employee with Coach USA in Memphis.  Our first plan was to line everyone up to use the restroom in the little “shack” as it was obvious the manager did not want us there.  His solution was to sleep on the buses overnight in the parking lot and wait on a bus that was returning midmorning the next day.  I still wanted the new bus and hoped 150 folks using his bathroom one at a time would irritate him into releasing it.  Instead, my plan and something about my charm and calm demeanor caused him to get very upset.  JoAnna spent this time calling around and eventually located the President of Coach USA.  After she explained our day and the rudeness of the lot manager, he asked to speak with said manager.  The look on the manager’s face as he said, “Mr. Smith, I can have the new bus ready to go in 30 minutes,” was priceless.  At this point it is after 8 p.m. and the kids have not been fed.  The President of Coach USA offered up $1,500 for dinner so we took the kids to eat, loaded up, and headed home.

We pulled into the school parking lot at about 8:00 a.m. on Monday morning.  About half of the kids went home to sleep but about half splashed water on their face and went to second period.  The number of complaining phone calls I got from parents were zero.  Remember The Alamo!