4 years at
a time. That is how long most of us got
to spend together. I cheated some folks
out of 4 years by retiring while they were still there and a couple of my first
(early 1990) classes did not have 4 years left.
Still, by and large, we usually got 4 years together before you each
moved on. “We all take different paths
in life, but no matter where we go, we take a little of each other
everywhere.” Tim McGraw said that and I
wholeheartedly believe it. Whether for
good, bad, or lack of a satisfactory therapist, I know I carry little bits of
each of you with me everywhere I go.
The biggest
problem with getting too attached to the kids you teach is graduation. That time of year from Spring trip until Band
Banquet is a rough one. The worst part
is getting a graduation band ready to play on 2 rehearsals with most of your
first chair players missing due to graduation.
Choir folks have it so easy. They
sing at baccalaureate with everyone (seniors included) available. No extra practice and no emotionally
gut-wrenching feeling of absence. There
were very few of you I was glad to see go when the time came (and you know who you
were).
As often
happens, I read what I just wrote and realize I have lied. Graduation is painful, but at least you can
see it coming. The most painful
experience is when someone comes to tell you they are moving. Two things happen at one time. The first is you hug the student and tell
them how much you will miss them and that everything will be just fine. At that same instant, your inner voice is
screaming “Dammit, Dammit, Dammit, ….”.
If you get those backwards (screaming dammit out loud, over and over,
while telling yourself with your inner voice that everything will be just
fine), you can expect a call from an upset mom.
Over the
past few years, moving away became a much more common occurrence. Back in the day, the rarity of it made it
much more traumatic. My first experience
was with Nadia and Tamim Sifri at the end of my first year. We did not have tons of kids back then and
losing 2 was devastating. Combine that
with the fact that Nadia was one of only 2 All State players that year and her
brother (doofus that he was) was a very talented All West trombone player. Their dad’s job had something to do with
chickens and he got transferred. I swore
off chicken for a year in protest.
It wasn’t
just the talent moving away that made all of this difficult. The Sifri’s defined what it was to be in band
at Houston. They had many friends in the
band and were involved in starting lots of the traditions that made us who we
were. And it wasn’t just me who was
impacted by early departures. When Kim
Kenny moved (early 1990’s) I still remember how upset Helen Hawkins was. When Jennifer Fortner moved (color guard / 2nd
year?) it happened in the middle of marching season, right after the Milan
contest. The entire color guard was much
more upset about Jennifer moving than losing the contest. It always seemed so unfair to me that
everyone could not leave their kids in one place until they graduate (like
Angie Ciuki’s folks did with her). That
is not to say that some kids didn’t improve their plight by moving. Abby Burns (5 years ago) moved to Tampa, FL
and joined a band that won BOA Grand Nationals.
As happy as I am for Abby, I selfishly wanted her here. She would have made a huge difference.
Christine
Choi was the worst example of this for me.
She moved in late during her sophomore year and moved out after her
junior year. I can’t think of anyone who
made a bigger impression on a program than she did in a short period of
time. She was immensely popular and
tremendously talented. She was the best
sightreader I ever taught. I briefly
considered kidnapping her, dying her hair blond, and trying to pass her off as
a Swedish exchange student. If she
hadn’t loved her family quite as much as she did, I would have given kidnapping
a shot.
It is that
time of year again. Kids are getting
ready to graduate and move on. Remember,
in your haste to get out the door that if you have done it right, someone is
really going to miss you. No matter what
path you choose, remember to take a little bit of band with you when you go.
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