Program Hijinks!

You Can’t Tell the Oboist from the Clarinetist Without a Program!

            Every time you have a concert, you have to do a program. Seems simple enough – you just list all of the tunes with composers and all of the players by instrument.  What could go wrong!?!  I know most parents thought I gave this chore to my office assistant who passed it off to the secretary who in turn gave it to an intern to take care of.  In reality, I would usually be lying in bed the night before the concert and go “#@%^#**&” (insert your favorite expletive here), “I forgot all about the program”.  After that realization, I sometimes forgot again until band class the next day. This resulted in typing a program and getting it printed between school ending and concert time that night.  No pressure!

            I never really understood the need of a parent to come up immediately after a concert to tell me I had misspelled their kid’s name. How about  tomorrow?  Or better yet, that I had left the name off entirely.  I believe I did this to Robbie Moore for 3 concerts in a row and he still loves me.  The exact time in my life when I decided to let program worries go and have a little fun was during my third year at Houston.  My parents had come to hear my concert band for the first time ever. After the concert was over, they made their way down front to see their son (me) just as a band parent was expressing their unhappiness with my having spelled their child’s name wrongly.  At our next concert, I spelled every kid in the bands name wrong except for their kid.  Some messages aren’t meant to be subtle.

            Once, there was some emotional distress in band caused by a breakup between Jackie Young and Shane Halpern.  I don’t know whose fault it was but I did want to have some fun with it.  At the concert that week, I added Halpern as the last name for every girl in band EXCEPT Jackie (ex:  Jane Doe Halpern).  Some would think that cruel but my memory is that we all laughed.  I also think that Shane’s percentage chance of ever getting a date with a band girl plummeted – which was not a bad thing!

            There was a period of time in Jazz Band where we had discovered that the secret to life was…………. Chicken.  This resulted in me buying a jazz tune called “The Chicken”. When it came time for our concert, I changed the titles of ALL the Jazz Band tunes to something with chicken (ex: Blue Rondo ala Chicken, I’m in the Mood for Chicken, and that Commodores’ hit Brick Chicken).  The world is better off with more chicken.

            Mike Irby was our soccer coach at Houston for a while and every time we played a match, they would put the box score in the sport’s page of the Commercial Appeal.  If the other team scored, he would instead substitute the name of a Houston teacher into the box score (ex:  Ben Cook – assist).  For one of our concerts, I substituted coaches for all of the composer’s names. Oh, I dressed it up a little (ex: Wolfgang Irby, Ludwig von Haney, etc…).  The total number of folks that noticed was about 12.  Sometimes this is all only for my enjoyment.

            For the last concert I ever conducted at Houston, I left sort of a hidden message inside the names of the Wind Ensemble members. I gave everybody a middle initial. If you read the initials in order, it said, “If you can read this, you must be incredibly bored!  Happy Trails!”  The next day, I got email from a mom to tell me I had misspelled her daughter’s name and that her middle name was Ann.  The fact that she emailed and did not accost me after the concert shows we made progress in 25 years.

            I loved every minute I spent in front of the band at Houston (and even the few minutes I have gotten since I retired).  While I respect the gravity and importance of teaching someone else’s kids, I none-the-less approached my job like a game provided for my amusement.   If I haven’t thanked you for that in a while, I thank you now from the very bottom of my heart.

            

The Smith Girls!!!

Moose and Goose

            I tried to google “having kids quotes” so that I could start this with some pithy statement that would make me seem wiser than I am – which is not a high bar.  I noticed that about 95% of the quotes were about the problemscaused by having kids.  That was not my experience at all.  Both of my girls are wonderful, personable, helpful, powerful, smarticle,…….  Well, there are not enough positive adjectives so I will move on.  My wife, Amy, gets all of the credit for this.  I do understand the biology of child production and offer Faith and Mary Ann as proof.  Still, I am reasonably certain that should they be genetically tested, somehow 99% of their makeup comes from Amy.  

            Because my becoming a father lined up roughly with my taking the job at Houston, my kids were raised with and grew up with many of you. A great number of you babysat for them when they were little.  This was always a positive experience for them.  I noticed that, when Mary Ann moved to Florida for medical school and we redid her room, there was still a sign on the door made by her and Alaina Thetford during a babysitting stint.  In the ‘maybe it wasn’t always a positive experience for the babysitter” world, I recall Kathryn Anderson allowing Faith to do her hair.  Kathryn had really long, thick and curly hair and Faith (3 years old) took a comb and teased it out into an enormous afro. Probably took days to tame it back into shape!

            They spent many hours in the band room as kids. Mostly they just ran around but sometimes they would help clean or sort music.  The music part stopped when Mary Ann brought me a piece of music with Mr. Smith is a Great Big ______ (not a compliment) written on it and asked what the word after “Big” meant.  Yeah, I know we had days where I was a great big ______, but I didn’t want my kids to know! 

As we raised them, we became aware that they had negative athletic potential. What I mean by that is that if you had athletic ability and stood next to them, your talents would be diminished.  So with me as a father, being in band was almost a given.  My wife had hoped that one of them would pick the clarinet as an instrument but I used them to plug instrumental deficiencies (horn and baritone) in my own band.  They went on to become All State players so, while it may not have worked out perfectly for Amy or the girls, it worked out great for me!

            Both of my girls attended Collierville schools until coming to high school.  They were both very successful in middle school, which meant going from a hero to an unknown when moving to Houston.  They got to spend one year together at Houston, which was a dream year for their parents!  Having your parents teach at the high school you attend is not an easy thing.  When a teacher would mistreat them or they had some other issue, they would just have to suck it up.   Both even experienced some disappointment at the hands of their father who would have to hedge when giving them chair positions or leadership positions in an effort not to complicate their lives by making them look favored.  I do, however, remember Mary Ann telling me that a kid had stolen her lunch out of the instrument room so I picked him up and hurled him across the band room (as any father would do for his little girl).  There is not a parent handbook for this sort of thing and without their understanding and unconditional love, none of this would have worked.  To the extent that this hurt them, consider this a long delayed public apology.

            They are alike in many ways.  Both are extremely talented musicians and both were over the top successful as students.  They are, however, very different in demeanor!  One is more likely to listen thoughtfully when being confronted with a problem person and the other is more likely to stuff that person in a trashcan! I’m not telling which is which! Faith had the added difficulty of dating (and eventually marrying) a young man who played trumpet in the band. I often marvel at the bravery it took to ask MY daughter out while playing in MY band.  When Faith and Luke (said trumpet player) went off to college, Amy and I got something we had not had since Faith was born:  one child to focus all of our love and attention on! I am certain Mary Ann was thrilled. Her senior year, I threw showing favoritism to the wind and wrote a marching show just for her (Porgy and Bess). Maybe the best time I ever had putting a show together.  When it came time for her to graduate it also came time for me to be done.  I did not know that yet and wouldn’t for over a year but teaching a band without my kids in it suddenly, and through no fault of the kids in band, became a job and not a passion.

            Both of the girls are doing great.  After spending a year in Austin, Texas working for Intel, Faith and Luke are moving to Orlando where Faith will begin her dream job as an engineer for Disney!  They have a dog named Waddles that is perhaps the most photogenic dog ever.  Mary is working on her MD/Phd in Gainesville at the University of Florida.  Her cat, Sushi, is just like her – both cuddly and bloodthirsty at the same time! I am so extremely proud of all they have and will accomplish.  If only they could do all of that accomplishing 5 miles from home, I would have a perfect life.

Not At My Best!

            Sometimes it seems like a good idea.   In fact, sometimes it seems like such a good idea that you are stunned when it blows up in your face.  The first Spring trip we ever took at Houston had one of those moments. The trip itself was a mixture of fun and bizarre.  We went to Disney World (where else!) to march in the Main Street Parade.  It took forever to get there because of the wreck we had on the way down.  I have told this story in greater detail in a previous post but suffice it to say that the driver of bus 1 was an idiot and side swiped a car about an hour out of Germantown.  We sat in the dirt parking lot of an old rural store for 3 hours waiting on police, highway patrol, and eventually a new bus.  This is not the moment I am referring to.  

            The driver of my bus (did I say he was an idiot) was the singularly most irritating driver in the history of drivers.  He claimed to know and have met everyone in the world. He had met JFK, Einstein, Marilyn Monroe…. In fact, it became a game to mention some famous person just to have him tell us how they had met.  He claimed to have had a conversation with Amelia Earhart not long before she disappeared. He later told us his age, which would have made him 3 years old when conversing with Ms. Earhart.  He was so irritating that Dr. Bob Guinter, our booster president and a relative pacifist, had to be pulled off of him in the parking lot of Disney just before we started home.  This is not the moment I am referring to.

            When we got to Florida, we first went to Cocoa Beach for a day in the ocean.  Once before, while working at Fayette Academy, I had taken the band to a skating rink and go-cart place on the night before a marching contest.  One kid turned his ankle skating and another ran a go-cart into a wall and had to be taken to the hospital and sewn up.  I obviously learned nothing from this experience and took high school kids for 10 hours in the sun before asking them to put on wool uniforms and in some cases strap on a drum to march in a parade.  Everyone was sunburned to some extent but Kevin Moore was burned so badly, skin was coming off his back in sheets.  Kevin toughed it out which allowed me to tell other sun burned “whiners” that they also had to march.  I feel like some provisions of the Geneva Convention regarding torture were violated.  This is not the moment I am referring to.

            You see, my moment came from trying to solve a problem by being too cute and just making it so much worse.  It started off simply enough.  One of the parents came to me to tell me that she had smelled smoke coming from one of the kid’s rooms.  Back in the day, kids smoked cigarettes to a much greater extent than they do today (vaping had not yet been invented).  I had a group meeting with all the kids that night where I talked about the evils of smoking and the perils of violating school rules.  I pretended to have a long list of everyone who had been smoking on the trip and told them I would do a room check in half an hour.  Then came the cute part.  I told them that, if they would bring their cigarettes to the lobby and place them on a table, I would grant them amnesty and remove them from my list.  At the end of the half hour, I had 30 or 40 packs of cigarettes, a few cigars, and some chewing tobacco.  Needless to say, there were no cigarettes found when I did a room check. 

 Some of the chaperoning parents needed sedating but I reminded them of my promise of amnesty and asked them not to talk about this when we got home.  Flash forward to the following Monday morning. Mr. Clayton, our principal at the time, asked me to come to his office to discuss a problem.  When I got there, he said, “Jim, are you aware that all school rules apply when a group is traveling?”  I smiled my best innocent smile and replied, “Why yes Mr. Clayton, I am.” He said, “Did you confiscate a pack of cigarettes on this trip?”  I looked at him and, as honestly as I could I said, “No Mr. Clayton, I did not confiscate “A” pack of cigarettes.”  You see, technically the cigarettes had been abandoned and not confiscated.  Might I also point out that it wasn’t “A” pack but “MANY” packs.  Mr. Clayton did a calculation of how much time this would eat up in his day if he investigated versus the ease of just ignoring the situation and then he said, “That will be all, Mr. Smith.”  

“That will be all, Mr. Smith” is ironic in that this incident wasn’t remotely ALL.  Over the next 24 years, I would do my share of stupid.  My hope was to learn something from each incident so that I could experience a “new” stupid at each subsequent occurrence.   In the interest of fairness and full disclosure, I must add one more occurrence to this accounting.  When we returned to the hotel after the parade, I stood up on a table in front of the kids to make announcements and to tell them how well they had done in the parade.  Steve Stires tried to interrupt to tell me something but I was in the moment and told him to sit down and wait.  He smiled and did just that.  When I finished, I said “Now Steve, what could be so important it wouldn’t wait until I finished?”  Steve replied, “No big deal (ha ha), just that your pants are unzipped!”  ……. and THAT will be all!

GEEZERS    

To Pickle is to Preserve!

To Pickle is to Preserve!

            Here is my problem with most volunteer folks, they are usually “idea guys” - big picture people that can tell you what to do but look at the floor when it comes time to do it.  They would say things like, “Surely the businesses in town will donate money to our worthy cause.  All we have to do is go door to door and ask them.”  To which I say, “Okay, who will go door to door.”  ………………. and crickets chirp ………….

            I was blessed in my 25 years at Houston High School to have lots of booster support.  The parents that served as booster officers were not the kind of people to look at the floor when asked to do real work.  They were, invariably, the sort who roll up their sleeves and burn a few calories.  I loved every one of them.  Every once in a while, a parent would come along who did not want to be an officer or need a title.  The sort of person who sees a need and does everything they can to ameliorate that need. In my 25 years at Houston, the very best of those was David Pickler.

            I learned a lot of things from David (though some of them are not suitable for publication).  The most important thing I learned was to dream bigger.  He taught me to stop apologizing about the needs of the band program, stop finding ways to “just get by”, and to better envision the tools necessary to have an exemplary program.  Without David Pickler, there would very probably be no new band room, no band truck, no storage building, no memorial sidewalk, etc…  The first time we took the band to California, it was David who helped with the logistics and planning.  David worked as a chaperone, pit-crew member, and general roadie for the band for several years.  Though he was Chairman of the Shelby County School Board, he never seemed to mind taking orders from me.  The sheer number of things he did for this program is not even approached by the short list above.  

            I was made aware just yesterday by some band alumni that David is throwing his hat in the ring to become a Germantown Municipal School Board member.  I feel like his selection by the Mayor and Board of Aldermen should be an obvious one. You see, besides being a former local school board chairman, David Pickler has also been Chairman of the Tennessee State School Board and the National School Board.  His support for Houston High School did not stop with the band program.  I do not have a comprehensive list but I do know that he has been instrumental in funding for the new field and scoreboard.  David is also involved in the planned renovation and refurbishment of the auditorium at HHS.  

            So, like I said above, it seems to me that from an experience in education standpoint as well as from an actual giving back to the local community standpoint, David Pickler would be an obvious choice to be a school board member.   Still, in the Germantown Community, often decisions get made that boggle the mind. To that end, if you know any of the Aldermen or the Mayor of Germantown, show some appreciation for all David has done for us and let them know how good a choice he would be.  And do this quickly as I think they are looking to get this done in a hurry.  In case you do not know them, I have listed them below.  I know I don’t usually get involved in politics but things have gotten a little squirrelly lately in the old GMSD.  I think appointing David Pickler to the school board can go a long way toward calming the squirrel!

Copy and Paste Links (I am technically challenged)

Mike Palazzolo – Mayor                   Mayor@Germantown-TN.gov

John Barzizza – Alderman              JBarzizza@Germantown-TN.gov

Mary Anne Gibson – Alderman     MGibson@Germantown-TN.gov

Dean Massey – Alderman               DMassey@Germantown-TN.gov

Forrest Owens – Alderman          FOwens@Germantown-TN.gov

Rocky Janda – Alderman                 RJanda@Germantown-TN.gov

Give Concert Band Some Love!

Give Concert Band Some Love!

            Marching Band is a wonderful thing!  It is big and loud and showy and does a great job of generating community support.  It also, in many ways, pays the bills!  People get more hyped up about a marching band performance than they do about a concert band performance.  Maybe if we served hotdogs and nachos at concerts while having color guard folks throw flags over the top of the band (or crowd) while we played we could generate a little more love for the concert bands.  As silly as it seems, in many respects the school year is backwards for band folks, especially new ones.  We get kids at the beginning of the year and immediately put them outside to move around while playing the horn or drum.  As soon as marching season ends, we get to sit them down and really teach how to play.  To that end, really quality band music is a must.

Where does good band music come from?  Who writes it?  How much does it cost?  Short answers:  The Music Store, Composers, too much!  As for a more illuminating discussion (leading to the point of this epistle) let me say this: There is not enough quality band music in the world.  The needs of both audiences and performers have changed over time.  I am only aware of a handful of composers who actually make their living solely as band music composers.  Many of them are also teachers.  Most of the music they write is done through commission.  In other words, an individual or a group of individuals or an organization must pay a composer to write a piece of music.  I am proposing that, in conjunction with the Band Booster group, we do just that - commission a new piece of band music!

I have contacted Dr. Brant Karrick about commissioning a new work for band. Dr. Karrick is one of the most respected band composers available.  He has written many works for band including “Bayou Breakdown” and “See Rock City” which have both been played by the Houston Band.  He is very good at taking a contemporary style of music (Cajun, Rock, Funk) and turning it into a work for concert band.  Mr. Taylor and I are working with him to accomplish the same thing for Blues music.  This is a long process so getting started soon is one way to make sure we get it done before I croak.

I would venture to say that most of the quality band music available today is done through commission.  Bayou Breakdown, Old Scottish Melody, Third Suite, Pastime, Hounds of Spring, Southern Hymn, American Overture, Esprit de Corp, and Kingfishers Catch Fire were all commissions – and most were commissioned by high school bands.  The thought of having a quality piece of music with “Commissioned by the Houston High School Band – Matt Taylor, Director” in band rooms all over the country is exciting!!!

I am going to need the help of everyone to make this happen. Not only do we need to pay for a commission, we need to reserve and rent a hall for the premier performance.  We are also hoping to fly Dr. Karrick in to work with the band in advance of that performance.  I need help with everything from putting a program together to picking up Dr. Karrick at the airport.  You see, I don’t have a band or parents at my beck and call to help get these things done – I only have folks who remember this activity as fondly as I do.  I will schedule a meeting of those interested in helping after I have a date for the performance.   I am expecting to have the premier in the Spring of 2020 (it takes a while to write the music and then teach it).  In advance of that date, please feel free to DONATE TO THE BAND FOUNDATION!!!  There is a PayPal button right here on this blog. I expect this venture to cost in excess of $8,000.  Helping the band world is an expensive thing!

In the meantime, here is a link to the 2015 Houston High School Wind Ensemble playing “Bayou Breakdown” - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YpRdzbGNOTw

If you want to watch the 2011 Houston Marching Band performing “See Rock City” - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0AInOfl_KLs

Houston Band Foundation Scholarship Award

Houston Band Foundation Scholarship Award

            The Houston Band Foundation gives a scholarship each year to a Houston Band member in appreciation for their work as a member of the Houston High School Band.  The recipient of the second annual Houston Band Foundation Scholarship is Abby Lindquester.  Abby was a trumpet player in both the Jazz Band and the Wind Ensemble.  Abby also served as a Drum Major for the band.  In addition, she was a member of the Memphis Youth Symphony on violin.  Having graduated in the top 5 percent of her class this year, Abby Linquester received scholarship offers from Furman and Rhodes before choosing an offer from Mississippi State University.  She will play in the Famous Maroon Band while at Mississippi State.

            I was also fortunate enough to teach both of Abby’s older brothers, Will and Eric, and also taught with Abby’s mom here at Houston.  The entire family dynamic is (to the outside world, anyway) both loving and considerate.  They help each other and still find time and energy to help others, most notably The Houston Band.  I have known Abby since she was in elementary school.  I was aware that she was quite an accomplished violin player when she went to Houston Middle.  She had hoped to pursue a path like so many others had whereby she would be in band but continue studying violin and participate in All West ensembles.  When GMSD established an orchestra program, their director decided not to allow band kids to audition on a string instrument for All West.  At that point, Abby’s decision was pretty clear-cut.  She could be in band and miss out on many orchestra opportunities, or she could quit band to play violin.  I don’t know how hard the decision was, I am just ecstatic that she chose to continue with band. 

            The qualities that make Abby an asset are ones that all band members should aspire to.  She is dedicated and hard working.  She has a proper sense of right and wrong and models that behavior proudly.  She may be quiet but you would be wrong to confuse her calmness with lack of resolve.  You don’t accomplish all that she has without being hard-nosed about the details.  Abby Lindquester is also sweet and caring, two qualities that seem in direct opposition with the qualities most people use these days to get ahead.  I am betting that Abby will do just fine with this set of traits.  The Houston Band has been blessed to have her as a member for the past four years and the Band Foundation is proud to have her as our 2018 scholarship recipient.

Silliness

            I am going to do the begging at the beginning of this epistle instead of the end so that those of you who only read half of stuff won’t be let off the hook.  The Houston Band Foundation (us) established a scholarship to be given to a graduating senior each year at the band banquet.  We raised $20,000 bucks and put it in a brokerage account with the hope of generating $1,000 a year for the scholarship.  We were in good shape until the stock market backed up and now that scholarship is going to be $54.17.  I would like all of you to make a donation to this cause using the PayPal button attached to this blog (look for it – it’s there).  And now….

Silliness

            I often said, and truly believed, that we could have been much better than we were if silliness did not break out all the time.  Some of those sillinesses (?)  were small things.  Like when Lara Pitts and Rachel Lin used to make rude hand gestures behind my back to see whom I would catch first.  Or when Erica Lewis showed up for a contest wearing a fake cast on her arm (she was the drum major).  Other silly episodes involved larger groups of people.  Here are a few:

            We went to Union City for All West tryouts one year and went up early because snow was forecast.  At about midnight it started to snow and I let all the kids come out to play in it.  A game of Red Rover broke out in the area next to the hotel.  This game of Red Rover was our only one in the snow, but Red Rover was to become a band staple for years to come.  We had a bus break down in South Alabama on our way to Disney one year at about 2:00 in the morning leading to a game of 50 on 50 Red Rover.   My most vivid memory of Red Rover, however, comes courtesy of William Ingram.  We were playing while waiting on a bus to pick us up.  Those of you who do not know William can hardly appreciate his lack of athletic ability so, when someone called “Send William right over!”, it quickly got my attention.  What took place was the most laid back and somewhat dignified ‘Sending” in the history of Red Rover!  Not a run as much as a “toddle right over”.  Still makes me smile.

            Matt Tubinis was in charge of arranging a Games Night for summer entertainment one year (summer of 2002 or 2003?).  One of his games was a greased pig catching contest.  The twist was that the greased pig was Mike Mueller in a speedo covered in Wesson Oil.  It is possible to have something be both hilarious and totally disgusting at the same time.  I have no memory of what the prize was for catching Mike.  Maybe catching Mike is a prize in itself.

            One year at All West, all of the kids were sitting on the second floor landing in the Convention Center hotel eating pizza and goofing off.  Cell phones weren’t exactly new but texting was a big deal.  This particular year, Thomas Carpenter had not made All West and, being the manly stud he was, everyone was missing him desperately at the clinic.  Somebody got everyone together for a mass texting.  The thought was to have a group of about 50 folks text Thomas a short but disgusting phrase (moist mayonnaise) repeatedly and at exactly the same time.  According to Thomas, his phone exploded.

            We were marching at the Contest of Champions one year when I became aware of the seniors trying to establish a new tradition.  They marched finals “commando” style.  For those of you unfamiliar with the term, they were NAKED under their uniform.  No undergarments.  I can’t imagine the level of uncomfortable not to mention the possibility of having suspenders give out and flashing 20,000 folks.  The worst part is knowing that someone else was issued those pants the next year.  Yuch…..

            When we would travel to out of town competitions, my loading crew would inevitably “find” things others had lost.  They “found” signs from most of the bands we competed against.  They “found” a stadium flag from Vanderbilt and from the Liberty Bowl.  They even once “found” a track hurdle that said McGavick.  I stayed out of the finding business until one day in Jackson, TN.  Lara Pitts was one of our drum majors that year and, as they were closing the back of the truck, I noticed we had “found” an 8 foot by 4 foot sign that said “Pitts For Mayor”.  This sign got “unfound” in a big, screaming hurry.

            Zombie Apocalypse night one summer…. Every gift on Senior Night hidden in a brown paper bag with the words “don’t open in public” scrawled on the outside……  The ubiquitous (look it up) Rooster Cheer…..  Dancing after contests at the equipment truck (win or lose)…..  Senior Pranks that didn’t go wrong  (Yanni, Jonathan, Christie)….. The list is too long for it to be covered in one sitting.  On reflection, I would like to amend my statement in the first paragraph that we would have been better if less silly.  Maybe we would have been more competitive but from a “who we were” standpoint, I like us just fine!